


The First Date Resurgence

by genki_escapist



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-04
Updated: 2012-04-04
Packaged: 2017-11-03 01:05:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/375361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genki_escapist/pseuds/genki_escapist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before there was Shamy there was... Lamy? A visiting Beverly Hofstadter reveals that Leonard's first date was none other than Amy Farrah Fowler. Does that mean 'Lamy' is meant to be? Not if Sheldon has anything to say about it!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Maternal Stimulus

"How has your research been going?" Beverly Hofstadter asked her son. "Anything new?"

"Recently I've been focusing on positrons," Leonard replied as he served tea. "I'm doing trials of the set-up by Dr. Voss in DESY—"

"So, nothing new then." She turned away from the crestfallen experimental physicist to the smugly smiling theoretical physicist beside him. "How about you, Sheldon?"

"Last month, I had two papers published on the topic of micro black holes," he announced, "for which I have been nominated for a _real_ award, unlike the Newcomb medal."

Leonard pretended not to hear that last part.

She nodded. "As expected. The status quo has beem maintained in the eight years of your acquaintance and cohabitation agreement."

"Not quite, Mother." Leonard informed. "On a more unexpected note, Sheldon has a girlfriend now."

Beverly's eyes quirked up by a millimeter, indicating her surprise. "Indeed? How delightful." She spared a glance at Leonard. "I'm given to understand that you, on the other hand, are still unable to find a female to pair bond with, correct?"

Leonard busied himself sipping his tea, ignoring Sheldon who was pointedly shaking his head.

"Unlike Leonard—who has never demonstrated himself to be qualified of doing so—I have entered into a Relationship Agreement with a superior specimen of womanhood, who not only has enticing physical attributes and an enthralling personality, but also possesses an intellect without peer—aside from my own of course," Sheldon asserted. "Her name is Amy Farrah Fowler."

"Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler?" Beverly inquired. "The distinguished neurobiologist with a predilection for primate behaviors and addiction studies?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "Have you heard of her?"

"More than heard of her, I know her personally." The corners of her mouth twitched in her version of a smile. "How can I forget, after her romance with my middle child?"

Leonard choked on his tea. "Excuse me?"

Sheldon blinked rapidly. "What ever do you mean by that?"

"You don't remember, Leonard? That fascinating girl was your first date, when you both attended that gifted junior scientists' convention in New Jersey."

He tilted his head to the right, then to the left, a perplexed frown on his face. "… Huh?"

"I know you lack an eidetic memory, but given your abysmal track record with women, I would've thought that you'd remember a unique opportunity to date a lady who's _clearly_ out of your league," Sheldon hissed, displaying such an abundance of white teeth that Leonard found himself scooting backwards.

"Her father was brilliant, for a medical doctor that is, and her mother was an editor in my first publishing house," Beverly said. "We were acquainted with them, your father and I, and because Amy was in New Jersey for the convention, we thought it might be beneficial for two gifted children to socialize and at the same time, familiarize themselves with the romantic relationship model. We then arranged for them to go on a date."

Still agape, Leonard poked at the foggy memories of the adolescence he had tried his utmost to forget, and came up with the image of a thirteen year-old brunette wearing wire-rimmed glasses over green eyes and beaming with a wide, Cheshire Cat smile. That girl was undoubtedly a younger but very much unchanged—

"Amy Farrah Fowler!" Sheldon exclaimed, standing up for his girlfriend. He waved dismissively at the blonde accompanying her. "And that one."

Penny rolled her eyes at him, then smiled at Leonard's mother. "Hi Beverly, nice to see you again. I'd like you to meet my friend…" she took Amy's arm and urged her forward, but Beverly had already risen from her seat and gave each girl a rather stiff hug.

"Penny… and our charming little Amy Farrah Fowler…"

" _My_ girlfriend," Sheldon stated, scowling at how Beverly's arms were still lingering around Amy's shoulders.

"Dr. Beverly Hofstadter?" Amy looked from his mother to Leonard and back again, for several times. "Oh my goodness, why have I never made the connection..?"

Beverly shrugged. "That's quite understandable; I don't really expect you to associate a renowned neuroscientist such as myself, with my middle child, or remember him and any trysts you have been obligated to attend with him."

Leonard dropped his head and sighed.

" _Trysts_?" Penny cocked an eyebrow. "What the heck going on?"

"I have just found out that my roommate and _my_ girlfriend had a romantic rendezvous behind my back," Sheldon retorted. He narrowed his eyes at Amy and Beverly. "Additionally, _my_ girlfriend is presently engaging in extended physical contact with an individual other than myself, in clear violation of the Relationship Agreement. This is the heck that just goes on and on and on."

"That was when we were thirteen!" Leonard cried, standing up. "And it was a blind date. We didn't go behind your back."

Penny stared at him for five seconds. "I'm going to skip over that Twilight Zone-esque part." She smirked at his seething roommate. "Don't be so pissed, physicist. You know Beverly, she gets so affectionate sometimes. You had that kiss before."

"Wait, WHAT?" Leonard gawked at his mother, then his roommate, then his more-than-a-neighbor. He shuddered and took a step back. "Nevermind, I'll pretend I didn't hear that."

While Leonard sat back on the couch and wished to sink right to the center of the Earth, his roommate went rigid as Amy poked a finger at his chest. "Sheldon, you told me you've never kissed a female before, aside from your mother, your sister, and your Meemaw."

"And that was true, I didn't kiss Dr. Hofstadter, she kissed me."

She shook her head knowingly. "There's no need to deny it Sheldon, I completely understand, she's an incredibly attractive woman."

"You completely do not understand," Sheldon objected. "You are the only non-family member I've ever initiated lip contact with, outside the purposes of CPR."

"He's quite right my dear," Beverly assured her. "That was an alcohol-induced lapse of judgement on my part."

Sheldon looked down defiantly at her. "See?"

She crossed her arms and pouted. "Technically, what you said was still incorrect."

"What do you mean by, _incorrect_?"

"By definition, you have never initiated lip contact with me."

He opened his mouth but snapped it shut just as quickly.

Beverly took her seat again and sipped her tea, watching the couple. "Hmm, interesting. They are a compatible pair, very similar, but also different enough to be complementary. Unlike Sheldon, Amy had the advantage of conventional schooling and all the social know-how that imparts." She peered expectantly at Leonard.

"Er… right," he mumbled.

"What a darling," Beverly said, only the slightest crinkling of her eyes betraying her delight. "I imagine she would make a wonderful daughter-in-law."

"Mother, she's dating Sheldon," he pointed out. "He's my best friend and she's his girlfriend, she's not going to become your daughter-in-law, I can't steal her from Sheldon."

"You're right, you _can't_. A woman like her would never go for a sissy-pants who only engages in derivative research."

Leonard threw his head back on the headrest and groaned.

Penny slid on the couch beside him and nudged him with an elbow. "So what's this I hear about trysting with Amy?"

* * *

The ladies had left to go on a Girls' Night Out with the visiting Dr. Hofstadter. Being well aware of Amy's drunken kissing tendencies, Sheldon had attempted to tag along, only to be rebuffed and told in no uncertain terms that it was a girls' only night out.

In their wake, silence settled over apartment 4A, and while normally welcome, Sheldon felt as if it was ringing in his ears. He clicked up the volume settings of Red Dead Redemption.

After his fourth order of digital whisky, Sheldon steeled himself and turned to Leonard who was reading their new journals, slouched on the chair beside his spot.

"Leonard, I have an inquiry."

His roommate nodded absently, eyes still skimming over the pages. "Sure, sure…"

"Your first date… with Amy, why did you completely forget about it?" He paused his game and set the controller aside. "Was it a terribly traumatic experience?"

Leonard straightened up and adjusted his glasses, his thoughtful gaze looking past Sheldon. "No… just the opposite in fact."

Sheldon frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, I probably forgot because unlike all my other dates when I was a teenager, it wasn't completely horrible. It was… alright." The bespectacled man chuckled.

Grasping the controller, Sheldon's thumb convulsed on the Start button, alternately pausing and starting the game. He wasn't quite sure what answer he had been expecting, but that was most definitely not it.

"It was… well, I guess it was a lot like when we went to that wedding," Leonard mused, not noticing when Sheldon's eyebrow shot up. "Especially during one-on-one time, Amy can be a lot of fun—"

"I'm already aware of that," he snatched the journals from his roommate. "She's MY girlfriend."

"Wait a minute, I'm not yet done with—"

Sheldon stomped to his room and slammed his door to his so-called primary friend's protests.


	2. The Green-Eyed Effect

Having received the emailed request six hours previously, Sheldon arrived at Amy's apartment to fulfill his boyfriend duties.

 _Knock, knock, knock,_ "Amy." _  
Knock, knock, knock,_ "Amy." _  
Knock, knock, knock,_ "Amy."

The door swung open to reveal a widely grinning Amy Farrah Fowler. "Hello Sheldon. I'm assuming you would like some Yoohoo?"

Involuntarily, he grinned back. "You know me too well."

After she poured two glasses, he gallantly carried them to the coffee table and she picked out a DVD.

"I hope you're ready for an hour of me cooing and giggling, as induced by giant pandas being their roly-poly, irresistibly cute selves."

"While I myself prefer koalas, tonight's choice of program is your prerogative," he said.

Besides, while he knew that she knew his koala-face, she wasn't aware that he recognized the particular smile on her face right now—with the corners of her lips puckered ever so slightly as if teeming with silent laughter—as the one that she made only around pandas.

Amy sat next to him on the couch, waiting until he opened his arms. She leaned against him, their bodies easing into the now-familiar positions, and he wrapped his arms around her. With that, Sheldon settled into a night of cuddling and giant panda documentaries.

Thirty-six minutes into the program and Amy was positively bubbling with contented sounds, but Sheldon couldn't appreciate the sight of panda cubs rolling across playpens, not with his mind preoccupied with a different matter.

"Amy, may I ask you a question?"

She shifted in his arms so she could look up at him and smiled encouragingly. "Proceed."

He licked his lips nervously and muttered: "That first date with Leonard… what was it like?"

Her forehead furrowed and her green eyes glimmered, indicative of her carefully thinking. "It was a very standard date, I suppose. His father drove us to the cinema where we watched a movie, then took a walk in the park, then his father picked us up so we can go to the hotel my family was staying at, and…"

"… And?"

"And… we half-kissed."

In ragged huffs, he expelled the breath he didn't realize he was holding. "What in the world is a half-kiss?"

She shrugged; the slight movement upon his chest made his breath catch again. "When only half of your lips are in contact?"

He frowned. "I don't believe a half-kiss is a conventional method of displaying affection."

"It isn't. He meant to do a full-kiss, but he was wearing insoles and slipped on them when he leaned forward, and only managed to do a half-kiss before he went completely out of balance. After that, his father had to take him to the hospital for twisting his ankle."

"What a dork." Sheldon sneered, feeling extremely satisfied. "How did you not remember such a pathetic dating partner?"

"That year, my parents set me up with a different boy on a monthly basis," she explained. "It was such a tiresome period of time, that I wanted to forget about it altogether."

"I see…" he nodded. Then he froze. "And those boys, did you half-kiss all of them?"

"Of course not."

He relaxed, reaching for his glass of Yoohoo on the coffee table. "Of course."

"Naturally, most boys are less awkward than Leonard and would succeed in the implementation of full-kisses.

Sheldon choked on his last mouthful of Yoohoo, nearly dropping the glass.

"Are you alright?" She poised to sit up but he pulled her back into his arms and firmly held her in place.

"There's still sixteen minutes of the program remaining," he said. "According to today's request, cuddling is to last for the entire duration of the documentary viewing."

* * *

Penny knocked and without waiting for an answer, swung open the door to apartment 4A.

"… And that is why, given the current set of relationships and emotional bonds between your little trio, a ménage à trois will prove to be the most convenient and fulfilling option." Beverly concluded, leaning back on the far-right seat of the couch.

Raj, Howard, and Bernadette, gawped at the neuroscientist with open-mouthed horror.

Penny started backtracking but Beverly's stare whipped around and froze her in place.

"Penny, how nice to see you again."

"Yeah… nice." She shuffled inside, nearly stumbling over Raj who was sitting on the floor by the chair shared by Howard and Bernadette.

Leonard finished putting the tray of tea and sandwiches on the coffee table and took his seat on the armchair across the room. Penny made her way to his side to sit on the arm of the chair.

"That looks uncomfortable, why don't you sit here?" Beverly indicated the space between her seat and Sheldon's spot.

Penny looked at Leonard, who nodded hastily, and she followed Beverly's suggestion.

Sheldon and Amy walked from the kitchen, holding steaming mugs of tea. "Wait a minute," he cried. "Where is Amy going to sit?"

"On your lap?" Penny smirked. Bernadette gave a little squeal at that.

He narrowed his eyes at the pair of them. "A lap is not an ideal location for sitting, it lacks the necessary support and stability, moreover the person whose lap is in question would—"

"Amy, you can sit in Leonard's seat. Come son, be a gentleman," the elder Dr. Hofstadter raised an eyebrow at the younger one.

"Sure, Mother, let me just stand here," Leonard sighed, but stood up anyway and allowed Amy to take the seat.

"No Leonard, I meant you can squeeze in there with her, given your compact stature."

He shook his head and slumped on the arm rest instead, his arm brushing against Amy's shoulder.

Sheldon stood before his spot, but refused to sit down. Hands gripping his mug tightly, he glanced alternately at his girlfriend and his roommate.

Penny smirked at him again. "Girlfriend on your lap sounding good now?"

He glared furiously at her; not for the first time, she was glad he wasn't a real-life Jedi.

"Sheldon, don't just stand there, we're having tea," Beverly said.

He uneasily sat down, still clutching at his mug as if intending to crush it in his hands.

"Amy Farrah Fowler, if I may make a query, have you ever or would you ever consider entering into a monogamous relationship with my son?" Beverly asked.

As one, Howard and Bernadette turned their heads away and spit-sprayed tea all over Raj, who dropped his head and spluttered tea on his own lap.

"Oh Raj, we're so sorry…" Bernadette grabbed the box of tissues and handed it to him.

Ignoring the mess of tea, Sheldon's low growl, and Penny's bulging eyes, Amy simply replied: "No."

"I understand that Leonard as himself isn't an attractive mate," Beverly said. "However, he comes from a long line of geniuses and his DNA is very likely to produce exceptionally intelligent offspring. Moreover, marrying Leonard would include me as a mother-in-law—and I don't need to list all of my good points, do I?"

"Hold it right there," Sheldon interjected. "Dr. Hofstadter, it's true that you are a brilliant woman with whom Amy would enjoy engaging in discourse and could very well have a satisfying mentor-protégé relationship with. But if it's the mother-in-law-daughter-in-law relationship we're referring to, then my mother would prove to be a better candidate. She not only excels in domestic skills, but has a nurturing and affectionate personality, and also successfully raised me, an extraordinary prodigy, with much care."

"She doesn't approve of me though," Amy mused.

"What a pity," Beverly commented. "You would never have to encounter such a problem with me."

"She will come to like you in time, for me. My mother's very expressive of her love for me." Sheldon raised his chin in challenge. "Unlike Leonard, I've never had to build a hugging machine."

Raj whispered to Howard, who nodded. "Yeah—burn!"

"But with that upbringing came a certain advantage," Beverly rejoined. "As a needy individual whose excessive craving for affection wasn't met with satisfaction, he understands the value of providing affection. Unlike you, a favored individual who lacks or has repressed the desire for affection with the result that you take it for granted and fail to serve the emotional and various other needs of a romantic partner."

Sheldon's eye started twitching uncontrollably.

"Ooooh…" Bernadette and Penny exchanged looks and touched fingers. "Tsssss!"

Leonard rubbed his glasses on his hoodie, put them on, and blinked deliberately. "It was all very backhanded, but if I look at all that in a certain way, it's as if my mother was complimenting me... and at Sheldon's expense."

"Try not to let it go to your head," Amy advised. "Even a Master's degree bearer would know my boyfriend is the best there is."

Raj sniggered silently while Howard huffed exasperatedly and asked: "Anyway, what's this about, this matchmaking between Leonard and Amy?"

"Only that Amy Farrah Fowler is an outstanding young woman and since my son is obviously unqualified to acquire a woman of her caliber, I have to help him out." Beverly neatly sipped her tea. "Just him would make a losing bargain, but I thought I could entice Dr. Fowler with the extras to the package."

"As if the DVD extras could ever make up for a substandard film," Sheldon scoffed.

"Excuse me," Bernadette raised her hand timidly. Everyone looked at her. Penny mentally applauded the petite microbiologist for not even breaking into a sweat under Beverly's piercing gaze. "Amy and Sheldon are in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, their version of one that is, and Leonard and Penny are—well, I'm not quite sure what they are, but they're _something_.

"Considering their current relationship statuses, isn't it too sudden to propose that Amy and Leonard pursue a romantic relationship with each other?"

"It's not sudden at all," Beverly explained. "Before their present amorous entanglements, my son and Amy Farrah Fowler were involved. Romantically."

"Huh?" Bernadette whined and looked at Penny; she regretted having to nod in confirmation.

"It turns out that Leonard and Amy's first date was with each other, when they were kids," she said.

"What?" Howard gasped. Raj grabbed his ear and whispered something. "Yes, we heard that right, before there was Shamy, there was Lamy."

"Ridiculous," Sheldon snarled. "An awkward first date as adolescents hardly qualifies a boy-girl pair for amalgamation naming, if anything should, it's the entry into a mutually indemnified relationship."

"And it's hardly a relationship if there's no hugging or kissing or coitus involved," Howard muttered.

"My son, inadequate as he may be in all other aspects, is capable of those activities," Beverly said.

Sheldon turned to Leonard… very, very, _slooooooowly_. "What did I tell you about Amy before, Leonard?"

"Uh… 'She is not for you.'"

"Remember well."

Penny saw her sort-of boyfriend gulping.

"I-I'm going to slide to the computer chair over there before he starts building a death ray," he announced, standing up to fetch the chair and sitting on it.

"Lamy," Sheldon sneered, ripping apart a sandwich before stuffing a chunk in his mouth. "Even the name sounds lame-o."

"Yeah, it does sound lame." Penny agreed.

Beverly shook her head, clicking her tongue. "Jealousy is an ugly thing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have the sinking feeling that Amy will actually be proven to hate pandas later, but for now, I'll write this here—because rare is a person who can resist pandas.


	3. The Girlfriend Recovery

The night's dinner at hand, Penny opened the door to Apartment 4A. Mashing the buttons to the sounds and special effects of Halo were Sheldon, Raj, Howard… and Bernadette.

"It's Halo Night?" She asked, confused, setting the boxes of sushi on the coffee table.

"Of course not," Sheldon snapped. "It's Anything Can Happen Thursday, a fact you should be aware of if you had familiarized yourself with this apartment's timetables."

"And you're playing Halo?"

"It's Anything Can Happen Thursday, so we can play Halo even if it's not Halo Night." Bernadette chirruped, flicking her thumb on the controller. A thunderous explosion reverberated from the TV and Raj screamed voicelessly.

"You're getting really good at this," Howard gushed.

"Where's Leonard and Ammm…" Penny dragged her words when Raj, Howard, and Bernadette all flailed desperately, putting fingers over pursed lips and clapping hands over mouths. "…my…"

"Amy has been invited by the senior Dr. Hofstadter to a fund-raiser ball. And Leonard tagged along, even though as a physicist, he has no business being in an event being held for those involved in neuroscience." Sheldon smashed at the buttons.

Amidst a series of shots and explosions, Raj threw up his hands in frustration, teeth bared.

"He's doing an even better job of beating them than you are," Howard sniggered to Bernadette, who nudged him reproachfully.

Penny opened a box and picked a California roll, popping it in her mouth and chewing mechanically. She swallowed, a clump of rice nearly sticking in her throat. "Wow… Beverly really likes Amy, huh?"

"Of course she does," Sheldon hissed. "Why wouldn't she? Amy is extremely intelligent, aesthetically appealing, and she's the most interesting—no, _fascinating,_ person I have ever known…" then he muttered under his breath, "and also far too charming for her own good…"

Fingers never leaving the controls, Bernadette glanced alternately at Sheldon and Penny. "Do you both think Beverly is serious about wanting Amy as a daughter-in-law?"

"I don't know," Penny sighed. "I—I thought Beverly and I really made a connection before, you know? But I guess now that Amy's here, Beverly prefers her…"

"You guess?" Sheldon raised an eyebrow. "Were you even listening to what I said? Given all her outstanding qualities, it's only logical for Dr. Hofstadter to prefer Amy."

"Hey," she frowned. "Just because you prefer Amy, doesn't mean Beverly has to. Leonard did choose me…"

He snorted derisively. "Please don't compare us intellectuals to somebody like Leonard."

There was another deafening explosion; Bernadette cheered, Howard kissed her, and Raj clapped his hand against his forehead. Penny observed the TV and deadpanned: "The forecast didn't say anything about raining Sheldon today."

"This is ridiculous!" Sheldon threw down the controller. "It's ridiculous to be playing this while Amy is… Amy is… this is ridiculous!" He stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door.

Penny looked pointedly at Raj and Howard. "Come on, aren't one of you guys getting him?"

Raj whispered to Howard, who nodded. "Yes… since Leonard's not here, the happy responsibility falls to you, Penny."

"… Might as well get it over with." She stood up and marched out after Sheldon.

She found him slumped on the very last step at the first floor landing, eyes downcast and shoulders drooping. She sat down beside him and asked: "Penny for your thoughts?"

For the second time, he snorted derisively. "It's highly unlikely that 'Penny' would be able to comprehend much less appreciate the thoughts produced by my advanced mind."

"Look, just tell me what's your take on this Lamy thing," she cried exasperatedly. "It's obviously bothering you…"

"Bothering me? This lame-o 'Lamy thing' you speak of is an illogical anomaly. If I were to be bothered with every illogical instance in this imperfect world, why, I'd be at my wit's end!"

"You mean you weren't already?" She smirked, a bit relieved that he still had it in him to glare at her. "And what do you mean by Lamy being illogical?"

"Penny, even the senior Dr. Hofstadter admits that Amy is much too good for her son; Leonard isn't intelligent enough, or interesting enough, or physically attractive enough, and based on his relationships so far, isn't boyfriend material either."

"Hey!" She pouted. "I like Leonard—for me, he's definitely good enough."

"My point exactly."

She rolled her eyes.

"And if he really is as great as you say, then why are you just sitting here, instead of staking your claim as your primitive instincts tell you to?"

Penny opened her mouth, stuttered, stopped. Finally, she shrugged. "Well, they're at that fancy scientists event, I don't think I should get in the way. Beverly adores her, and they had that first date which wasn't totally terrible like all their other dates at that time… kinda makes me a liiiiiiiittle part of me wonder, if… maybe they're meant to be."

Sheldon froze, then narrowed his eyes at her. "Exactly the kind of New Age hokum to be expected from somebody who believes in astrology and psychics." He rose to his feet. "You can give up like that, it's understandable, since you're only giving up the tedious homunculus that is Leonard. But I won't—for me, it's _Amy_ who's at stake here." He squared his shoulders and his mouth hardened into a grim line.

Her eyes widened, dreading the worst. "What are you planning to do?" When he rushed back up the stairs, she followed, determined not let him out of her sight. "You better not pull some death ray crap on _my_ Leonard!"

* * *

Amy sidestepped out of the way, successfully avoiding Leonard treading on her toes, which along with the rest of her feet, were already suffering in the brand new strappy stiletto sandals she never had the chance to use before. She knew that not everyone could be as universally skilled as her boyfriend, but even with her leading him, Leonard really wasn't shaping up into much of a dancer.

"I'm sorry..." he said, for the nth time, when they collided into each other as he turned the wrong way.

"Didn't Penny already tell you to stop saying sorry for every little thing?"

"I'm sorr—I, I'm just getting the hang of not saying it so much around Penny, I need some time to get out of the habit," he explained wryly. "Maybe we should just sit down."

She shook her head. "Didn't you hear your mother? She's counting on us to bring the fun to this event, we have to entice everyone else into the dance floor."

"I'm surprised you even agreed to this," he asked, twirling her awkwardly. "I mean, Sheldon's already jealous that I was your first date and my mother is trying to matchmake us..."

"I understand that for the good of science, even respected scientists must socialize with the financially wealthy, tiresome as they may be, to secure funding." She tilted her head, puzzled. "And why should he be jealous? Considering my opinion of you, that is."

The music changed to a slow piece; Leonard kept one of his hands holding to hers and switched the other to her waist. "... Which is?"

"I have revised my opinion of you being completely tedious, though you're still far from being as fun as Sheldon. I find it regrettable that your awkwardness belies your passable intelligence, and you just don't do anything for me."

He cringed. "Gee... thanks, for at least thinking me less tedious now..."

"Besides..."

"Besides?"

"You're my bestie's homunculus. And I'm in a relationship with a guy like Sheldon, why would I even consider any other men?"

"And... he's the best?"

She nodded. "He sure is."

"Seriously, what did Sheldon ever do to land a girl like you?"

She swatted his arm sternly. "Please Leonard, I know I look especially ravishing in this cocktail dress and torturously fabulous sandals, but we're both dating each other's best friends."

"I only meant that you have such sincere feelings for him..." He cocked his head and stared from her crystal barrettes to her beaded neckline. "Though, you _do_ look amazing today."

"Thank you, but my eyes are up here." She snapped her fingers at his face.

"I wasn't look—I didn't mean—sorr... er," he coughed.

"Having fun?" Beverly asked, in a voice that clearly wouldn't tolerate otherwise. She was dancing with a wizened little gentleman who reeked of money and had the blissful expression of one whose mind was on vacation.

"We're good..." Leonard mumbled, inching away from his mother.

"Your uptight attitude has always been your weakness. If you require the psychological crutch that is alcohol, take advantage of the open bar. There's a lot riding on tonight." She tilted her head in Amy's direction.

"Mother," he whined. "This isn't... whatever you want it to be."

"Definitely not," Amy seconded. "I'm here strictly to assist your center in the acquisition of funds."

"A few bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon should help alter the current situation," Beverly Hofstadter said.

"Let's move as far away as possible," he whispered to her.

She nodded. Lucky for them, a waltz played next, and she led them whirling across the dance floor, until they were right in front of...

"Penny." Amy blinked at her bestie, who was blinking back, gaping. Beside her, Leonard was stammering.

"Hey, you guys... Nice tux." Penny smiled at Leonard. He grinned widely. "And you look smoking Amy! I knew you'd get some use out of that dress." Penny looked her up and down.

"Thanks... uh, Penny, what are you doing here?"

"Oh that!" She looked round with hawk eyes. "I was following Sheldon, he kind-of-sort-of snapped, and I was scared for Leonard..."

"Why?" Leonard managed to choke out.

"Because he's got this big-ass sword and..." she eyed Leonard's and Amy's still entangled arms. "You might not want to do that."

Amy pushed Leonard away. "Oh this, this is nothing—I mean really, I'd much rather have your hands on me than his." Penny wrinkled her nose.

"You're not getting anyone else's hands on you, Amy Farrah Fowler!"

The declaration was punctuated with the clang of metal. They all turned to find Sheldon standing next to a marble pillar at the corner of the dance floor, replica of Longclaw at hand. He banged the sword against the pillar again, then glided across the ballroom, grabbing Amy by the wrist and pulling her against his chest.

"Sheldon, what—"

"You may have had that fated first date and the stars might have schemed to reunite you again, but as excitable anime heroes would say, screw fate—I make my own destiny!" He yelled. "I already told you, she's not for you—because she's _mine_!"

"Hoo..." she gasped, then clapped her hands over her mouth. The music had stopped and the scandalized guests gawked at them. "Oh no..."

"Bravo!" Beverly's little partner crowed and applauded excitedly. The other guests hesitated before following suit.

"Oh yes," Beverly clapped. "Wonderful entertainment. Part of tonight's program of course."

Sheldon leveled the sword point between Leonard's eyes; both Leonard and Penny gulped. "If you wish to take my lady, you will have to defeat me."

The shorter man shook his head vigorously and put up his hands in surrender. "Oh no, I give up, there's no way I can ever do that."

"Yay, the Princess is saved!" Penny squealed, clapping nervously. When Sheldon lowered the blade, she heaved a sigh of relief.

Sheldon focused on Amy, capturing her with his earnest, blue-eyed gaze. "Let's go," he said, absently tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear.

She nodded, too breathless to speak, and allowed him to lead her away. Remembering about their friends, she looked back at Penny and Leonard.

Beverly was saying to them: "Well, that's a waste of a ball ticket, she hadn't even gone to the buffet yet. Why don't you join us instead, my dear?"

"Me?" Penny fidgeted, tugging at her jeans and fluttery blouse. "But I'm not dressed for the occasion..."

"With that face and body, nobody's going to be looking at how you're dressed."

She beamed, meeting Leonard's equally bright gaze.

Amy lost sight of them when Sheldon whisked her out of the double doors.


	4. The Homegirl Advantage

Once outside the hotel, Sheldon paused but didn't let go of Amy's wrist. He snapped his fingers twice above his head, and a blue car stopped before them. He opened the door and helped her climb in.

"As you know, my father has already passed away, but filling in for him tonight is Carl," Sheldon cocked his head towards the middle-aged man sitting on the driver's seat, who looked over his shoulder and grinned at Amy.

"The mailman?" She asked incredulously.

"I have since found out that he's a very understanding and considerate fellow," Sheldon replied.

"You're a fine-looking lass, aren't you?" Carl remarked. "You did very well, my boy! I was getting a bit worried, I didn't think you had it in you, but now you got yourself a lady."

"Some well-intentioned paternal ribbing, customary for any date wherein a father figure accompanies a couple," Sheldon explained to her.

"A date? But it's not date night."

"It's not, but it's Anything Can Happen Thursday," he countered, his cheeks reddening slightly.

She leaned her head on his shoulder and was pleased that despite tensing up, he didn't pull away. "Where are we going?"

"We are going to have dinner first since neither of us has eaten, after which we'll watch a movie, then go for a walk in the park…"

Was he… doing what she thought he was doing? She blinked up at him. The color on his cheeks deepened and he glanced away.

She smiled. "That sounds great."

The car pulled into the driveway of an unfamiliar restaurant. Sheldon helped her out the car, and they waved goodbye to Carl, who promised to pick them up later.

Amy's eyes swept along the Ming Dynasty inspired façade, brightly lit with rows of paper lanterns. "This restaurant only opened a couple of weeks ago," she said. "This definitely isn't in your list of approved eating establishments."

"Remember what day it is today." He offered his arm and she took it, feeling like she was walking on air as they entered the grand double doors.

Sheldon talked to the front desk, and as a waiter led them to their table, Amy asked: "How did you get the reservations?"

"The owner is one of the University's sponsors and a close personal friend of President Siebert. I made a deal with him."

"What kind of deal?" She queried, fearfully thinking of Leonard "escorting" a wealthy, widowed benefactor.

"President Siebert secured me this reservation in exchange for my not installing suggestion boxes around his office for at least two months."

"I see," she breathed, relieved.

Upon their entrance into the private room, a flurry of waiters laid out a feast and disappeared just as quickly, closing the embroidered silk-paneled sliding doors behind them.

Amy examined the dishes; there were his usual favorites like tangerine chicken, as well as more unusual choices. She quirked an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't want to try Peking duck?"

"No, but you like it." He shrugged. "And as it is this establishment's signature dish, we must eat it."

Amy grinned and led him to the corner sink. After washing up, they sat side-by-side, and she demonstrated the way of eating Peking duck.

"You can eat the skin first… spoon some sauce on the pancake, then place a piece of meat and vegetables on top, before wrapping the pancake." She popped the morsel in her mouth.

Sheldon grimaced, wiping his mouth after eating his far less tidy wrap. "I find this to be an inconvenient dish."

"But what about the taste?" She made a tight wrap and offered it to him.

Instead of accepting it with his hands, he instinctively leaned forward and took the wrap in his mouth. Her fingers accidentally brushed against his lips and he swiftly pulled back, his eyes widening with the realization of what he had just done. He coughed and sipped his tea.

She looked down at her plate, busying herself with making another wrap.

He mumbled something.

"Sorry?"

"It's not bad," he said, and attempted to make another wrap.

She bit back a giggle and ate some more.

* * *

The couple stood in the lobby of the cinema, staring at the current selection of films.

"Raj mentioned a new movie with Sandra Bullock," Sheldon said. "He said it features a tried-and-tested romantic set-up with timely rain, isolated beach houses and an epiphany of love guaranteed to appeal to female audiences."

"That sounds like a safe choice," Amy mused. "But I was hoping for a movie that would provide more in the way of mental stimulation."

"In that case, there's a Japanese film being shown with subtitles and the original audio about a time traveling train and it presents a perfect opportunity to learn about time paradoxes and feudal era Japan," he said in a rush.

She watched him, bouncing slightly on his toes and clear blue eyes shining with anticipation, being as impossible to deny as an adorable little child. "That's interesting, let's watch it."

"Good, let's go." He ushered her to the ticket line.

The skirt of her sea-green cocktail dress fluttered around her knees as they moved, and she caught him peeking down at glimpses of her thighs, but made no comment on the matter.

He tugged at her arm, bringing her closer. "Where did you get that dress?"

It was only when she followed his darting glances around the lobby that she noticed more than a few double-takes directed her way. "You don't like it?"

He avoided her question. "Based on the quantity and duration of stares you've been attracting, I'd say it puts an inordinate amount of emphasis on already prominent parts of your figure."

She laughed. "That's not it, I'm just overdressed for this place—"

"It is it," Sheldon insisted seriously. "You look _exquisite_ …" his voice trailed off and he stiffened, pursing his lips.

"Is that so?" She whispered.

He nodded, almost begrudgingly.

She looked appreciatively at the black blazer he wore over a Green Lantern shirt and black jeans. "Thank you. You're looking very handsome yourself tonight."

They entered the theatre just in time for the next screening. They took their seats, and emboldened by the darkness, Amy took his arm and put it around her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" He cried, a note of panic in his voice. "You didn't send me a written notice about engaging in physical contact tonight."

"It's a non-optional social convention to put one's arm around one's girlfriend while watching a movie," Amy quipped.

"It is? Stuart didn't put an arm around you during your date."

"He wasn't my boyfriend." She smirked playfully at him. "Are you saying you wanted him to put his arm around me?"

He frowned. "You know I don't."

"Then relax," she said. "Also, my bare arms feel rather chilly."

"That should teach you to wear clothing with the maximum coverage at all times," he said smugly, but pressed his warmer arm against hers anyway. "I just realized that this is a non-verbal assertion of Fred Hirsch's concept of positional good."

"The one that states an object is only valued by the possessor because it's not possessed by others?"

"Exactly. Given the genre of the film we're watching, this theater is filled with physiologically mature males unaccompanied by females. It's only natural that I send out a message that states: 'neener-neener.'"

"Are you saying that you only value me as a girlfriend because it makes me unavailable to fulfill that role for someone else?"

"Of course not. I never said it was a perfect concept."

She chuckled and snuggled in his arms.

* * *

The path meandering through the park was bordered with the golden light of hundreds of lamps. Amy gasped.

"Carl suggested this park," Sheldon told her. "It was the best option by a long run, since we'd be stumbling blindly in the inadequately lit premises of the other parks."

"It's so romantic," she murmured.

They walked in silence for a few minutes, before Amy fell behind and finally stopped.

"What's wrong?" He asked, noticing her wincing.

"It's these shoes. They're not the most comfortable ones for walking or dancing, or any sort of motion actually…"

"Well, those are the most illogical footwear I've ever encountered then," he said, "given that it inflicts injury instead of preventing it."

He helped her to a bench and unstrapped the sandals off her feet. When he grabbed her arms and eased her on his back, she shrieked: "Sheldon—!"

"Carl's waiting on the other side. Walking the path is the only way to reach the main road, and turning back would take much longer." He lifted her, piggy-back style, and started walking. In a too-nonchalant tone, he said: "Did you know that for a conscious load, a piggy-back ride is the most stable carrying position?"

She couldn't reply; her heart was pounding so hard she was sure he could _hear_ it as well as feel it against his back, and she was close to hyperventilating.

"Amy…" he muttered, his voice deeper than usual. "Please try not to breathe so hard, I can feel all your movements upon my back."

"Sorry."

When they reached the car, Carl opened the door for them. "What happened? Did you get a few drinks in the lady? Good job that." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Of course not," Sheldon retorted. "Her footwear proved to be too challenging to wear on a walk through the park. I would like to take her home now."

"Anything you say, sonny boy." Carl started the engine and drove to Amy's apartment. Once there, Sheldon carried her again, only putting her down once they were inside her apartment and he was assured that her floor was sufficiently clean to walk barefoot on.

"Amy." He looked into her eyes. "What's your assessment of tonight's date?"

"Excellent," she replied. "In fact, I find this to be our most enjoyable date so far. And it has far surpassed, and therefore effectively displaced, the memory of my first date with Leonard."

"Not yet. At the end of your date, he gave you a half-kiss. Which means I must exceed that token of affection and…" he moved his hands towards her shoulders, flinched, then held them. "I am going to kiss you and you will be kissed in a way you never have been before."

"Okay," she agreed breathlessly, lifting her chin expectantly and closing her eyes.

After a full minute, she peeked. He was biting his lip and swallowing hard.

"Sheldon, it's okay, I can just…" she stood on her tiptoes but he restrained her.

"No!" He transferred one hand to the small of her back and pulled her against him, the other hand cupping her cheek. "I will kiss you."

"Very well." She closed her eyes again.

Another endless minute passed, and still nothing.

She sighed. "Sheldon, if you're going to kiss me, you should just do—mhmm…" his warm lips pressed firmly against hers; she shut her eyes to savor the sensation and resisted the urge to part her lips. But when he coaxed her mouth open, she surrendered to her impulse, shuddering when his tongue caressed hers, timidly at first, then more insistently. She was sure that her knees had buckled, but his arm held her securely; she responded to his kiss with all of the pent-up longing in her heart.

They broke apart only when it became impossible to deny the need for air, breathing hard.

"In movies, people seem to find it romantic when a man interrupts the speech of his girlfriend with lip to lip contact," he explained between huffing.

"Indeed, I can confirm the appeal," she agreed. "You have successfully romanced me."

He smiled confidently. "It's part of my boyfriend duties. I trust we'll see each other tomorrow for dinner?"

"Yes. Goodnight, Sheldon."

"Goodnight, Amy." As if it was the most natural thing in the world, he brushed his lips against hers. Then he left her apartment.

When she was relatively certain that he had gone down the stairs and out of earshot, she clapped her hands against her cheeks and ran to her room, squealing: "Hooooooo—!"

* * *

Leonard entered Apartment 4A with Friday's dinner. Sheldon was sitting on his usual spot, browsing through a bound document and occasionally making notes. In all honestly, Leonard had been expecting his roommate to sneak in and kill him in his sleep the previous night, but when they both woke in the morning, Sheldon was as contented as he could be… no, far more contented than he should be. It was both relieving and unnerving.

"Hey buddy, what's up?" He placed the takeout boxes on the table and started to take the seat beside Sheldon.

"You can't sit there!" His roommate cried with such vehemence that Leonard leapt off the couch with a level of agility he didn't know he had.

"What are you talking about now?"

"That is Amy's spot."

"… What?"

"As you know about my spot in the couch, in the winter, this seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross breeze created by opening windows there and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide to create a parallax distortion—"

"Yes, yes, I know that," Leonard snapped.

"Then, it should be obvious that as my girlfriend, Amy is entitled to the spot with the most comparable attributes and in close proximity to mine," Sheldon snapped back with greater fervor.

At that moment, Amy had knocked and let herself in the apartment, and was smiling fondly at Sheldon. "It's hard to make a girl's heart skip with an obvious rationalization, and yet somehow, you do it."

Sheldon waved his hand almost bashfully and gestured for his girlfriend to sit beside him.

"…" Leonard looked from one weirdo to the other. "You know what, nevermind, I understand."

"As well you should, seeing how I have laid it out in the simplest terms," Sheldon declared.

They started poring over the same document, falling into deep discussion, and before Leonard could stop himself, he asked: "What are you doing?"

"Revising the Relationship Agreement," Sheldon replied distractedly. "I've realized that Amy should have input in our Agreement and it should be revised to meet her mysterious feminine needs. This applies particularly with regards to all forms of physical intimacy in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, which we would now be considering on a case-to-case basis, with respect to each other's comfort levels."

"Oh really," Leonard goaded. "Would that be up to and including coitus?"

"I said all forms of physical intimacy, didn't I?"

That wiped the sneer off his face. "… The Loch Ness monster is real. Mommy, I'm scared."

There was another knock on the door; Beverly and Penny entered, followed by Raj, Howard, and Bernadette.

"Leonard, I've come to bid you goodbye, I'll be returning to New Jersey now," Beverly announced.

"Oh, yeah… are you sure you don't need me to drive you to the airport?"

"Not necessary, I shall be accompanied by your interesting trio of friends." She bared her teeth—well, smiled—at Raj, Howard, and Bernadette, who gave her three identical frozen grins.

Beverly turned the couple sitting on the couch, saying: "Amy, Sheldon, I must say farewell."

Amy stood up, looking genuinely forlorn. "That's too bad, I wish I could've discussed with you about your research more…"

She hugged the younger scientist. "Feel free to engage me in any and all forms of electronic communication." She looked at Sheldon. "I hope you'll take good care of this exceptional young lady, she's the kind that comes along once in a generation."

"As I know very well, thank you," he said.

"I trust there are no hard feelings between us—with this business of the past few days. After all, you can hardly fault a mother for looking out for her child's interest."

"Not at all, I understand. In fact, I sympathize with your futile attempts to obtain for your offspring the fascinating woman who is my girlfriend and not for anyone else." He nodded cordially.

Beverly nodded in a similar fashion. "Goodbye, Sheldon and Amy." The couple returned to their agreement revision, while she glanced at Leonard… and smirked knowingly.

"Mother?"

"He may be a genius but as a creature of habit, it's far too easy to predict his reactions. Making it all the better for a psychologist such as myself to manipulate them for my purposes." She tilted her head at the huddled pair. "Sometimes a challenge, imagined or otherwise, is all it takes to push a relationship in the right direction."

Leonard gaped. "Wait… do you mean you set up this whole thing on purpose?"

"Of course, after all, I am _so_ digging the Shamy," she quipped. She turned to Penny and asked: "Did I say that right?"

Penny gave her a thumbs-up sign.

"It would've been a pity if they encountered relationship problems based on Sheldon's stubbornness. Why, between the two of them, they're capable of producing progeny that would grow up as the future leaders of mankind."

He shivered. "Is _that_ what you think?"

"Yes." Suddenly, she embraced Leonard, whispering: "Besides, I think this would help your cause with my homegirl here. Nothing like intrigue to spice up a relationship." Before he could hug her back, she let go.

"Penny, I have seen the light and realized that you are indeed a suitable match for my son." She hugged the younger woman.

"Aww, thanks Beverly," Penny gushed.

"After all, it's impossible to expect a woman as intelligent as Amy Farrah Fowler to be interested in him."

"Uh… right." Nevertheless she smiled.

"Let's go," Beverly told the trio.

As they walked to the door, Bernadette asked: "Dr. Hofstadter, about this ménage a trois you suggested, if we were to hypothetically adopt this relationship paradigm, in moments that my two partners are engaging in an act of passion, would I be free to _watch_ it?"

"The relationship could be tailored to fit a little voyeurism, so I don't see why not," Beverly said.

"That's interesting…" Bernadette mused.

"What?" Howard demanded. Raj was staring at her with bugged-out eyes.

"Hypothetically, of course," she said sweetly.

"Forget about that ménage thing… Honey, could you get the door?" Howard requested. Both Raj and Bernadette reached for it at the same time. Howard glared. "Raj… how many times must I tell you that 'Honey' now refers to my fiancé, Bernadette. You're really not helping here!"

The door closed behind the four of them. The Shamy were utterly focused on each other, and oblivious to Leonard and Penny who were still in the living room.

He quirked a corner of his mouth at her. "Hey."

"Hey…" she stepped closer. "So I guess the 'Lamy' thing didn't pull through, huh?"

"Oh, no…" he shrugged with exaggerated regret. "In the end, my own mother gave up on it, convinced that I wasn't good enough for her."

"Well, you know what they say," she snaked her arms around his neck. "One girl's frog is another girl's prince."

"Really, I never heard of that one."

"Uh-huh. And to transform him, all it takes is a kiss." She drew closer at the same time as he did, and their lips met in a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The idea for "Amy's spot" is based on a discussion with the ever lovable ladies at the Shamy threads of Fanforum—I owe you much, for the awesome, inspiring analyses and Shamy-piphanies. 
> 
> Thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe I'll have enough of jealous!Sheldon someday, but today is not that day. The idea for this fic came from... well, seeing Mayim Bialik and Johnny Galecki's on-screen date and kiss in "Blossom." If you've seen it, you know it's the cutest thing in the world. Wouldn't it be fascinating if Sheldon was Amy's first boyfriend but Leonard was her first date? And I put in adoring!Beverly since most shippers seem to expect Beverly would make Amy jealous and insecure, it would be hilarious if it turned out to be just the opposite.


End file.
